Science Fair SWAT
Dr. Thorpe: I don't know, man, maybe we'd better leave this one alone. Are we going to get arrested for this?
Zack: Look, they put it out there for the judges, so I think we are legally entitled to discuss it. So...uh...8th grade has changed I see.
Dr. Thorpe: Well, uh... so what are you ladies doing later?
Zack: Did you bring your tape measures with you?
Dr. Thorpe: I've got a car, you know... and I can stay up as late as I want.
Zack: I would LOVE to know what the hypothesis was on this one. Just so I could somehow detour my soul out of the eternal fire for which it is bound.
Dr. Thorpe: Please, God, give us something to work with that's not innuendo. Even that graph is a little suggestive. Wait, damn it, no it's not! I just think it is because it's right next to the word "spurt" and a tape measure.
Zack: I bet this one made every male judge cut his eyes to the side and mumble questions uncomfortably. The female judges are like, "I always wondered about spurts myself. Oh really, 8 feet is the greatest distance? Todd Jenkins you say? My, my, my. I wonder what his mother is feeding him."
Dr. Thorpe: All the boys in the class had to wander past this one a few too many times with their sweaters tied over their waists. "Dude, this is better than the Shannon Tweed aisle at Blockbuster."
Zack: I bet there's some male classmate who sees this science project and next year comes in with "FEMALE EJACULATION: FACT OR FICTION?" with a bunch of construction paper question marks and pictures of Annie Cruz.
Dr. Thorpe: Hypothesis: those bitches is just peeing.
Zack: Procedure: unspeakable
Dr. Thorpe: Addendum to conclusion: And for some reason a cricket came out.