Zack: This guy looks like he got hit with a shrink ray and is in the process of becoming five inches tall. In thirty seconds he's going to be fighting a tarantula with a toothpick.
Dr. Thorpe: He also looks like he just woke up from a drunken blackout and he hasn't figured out that someone dressed him up like the world's biggest idiot yet, and he's wondering why his buddy is taking his picture. I hope this prank catches on. It's way funnier than drawing mustaches and penises with a sharpie.
Zack: "Aw man, you guys even put the condom on my head! I'm gettin' you good at the next Pink Panthers mixer!"
Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, he looks like he just made a failed attempt at that trick Howie Mandell does where he puts a condom over his head and blows it up with his nose. Sorry buddy, you have to take your hat off, or the condom will pop!
Zack: It's cool that he wears his dog tags from the war against Gaudy Arabia.
Dr. Thorpe: His gigantic watch has a built-in GPS so he never gets lost in the deserts of Spinnastan.
Zack: Many brave men were turned into permanent sissies by that brutal conflict.