Wool Fetish SWAT
Dr. Thorpe: O RLY?
Dr. Thorpe: I'm sorry for publishing that stupid meme on this otherwise reputable website, but you have to admit, it's uncanny.
Zack: "Don't *pthhh, pthhh* don't make a mthhh *ptthhhh, ptthhhh* hair in my mouth, hang on..."
Zack: "Ma'am, can you describe the man who raped you?"
Zack: "Well, he looked sort of like Space Ghost and he was reaaaallly itchy."
Dr. Thorpe: "I don't think he can see very well, and... I don't know how to put this, but... he missed. I'm totally fine, but I'm definitely going to need a new purse."
Zack: Man, can you imagine trying to eat a hamburger in this thing. It's just a mustard and ketchup nightmare.
Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, you definitely don't want to mix this fetish with a 9 1/2 Weeks kind of a thing.
Zack: "Yeah, so I scratched my retina again on my ski-mask, but the good news no matter how cold it got my face stayed perfectly drenched in sweat."
Dr. Thorpe: This is a photo on a website where they're into this sort of shit, but even so, you can tell that he's in agony just keeping this thing on long enough to snap a digital photo. It's like being inside a neverending sneeze.
Zack: Yeah, you know that feeling when you put on a new shirt and you forget to take one of those little plastic tags out? Imagine a mask that covers your whole face and is nothing but plastic tags.
Dr. Thorpe: Nah, you know that feeling when you have an itch really deep in the back of your throat because you got a hair back there and you have to make this sort of awful hacking sound to scratch it but it doesn't really do anything? Well, imagine wearing a really stupid fucking mask.
Zack: I guess he could make a pretty good wool-themed luchador. El Scratchacabra maybe, or Los Calamine.
Dr. Thorpe: He looks like a medieval folk remedy.
Zack: "Relax, milady. Lie back upon thine pillow and allow the chirurgeon to apply the Wool Chasseur to soothe thine humours."