Dr. Thorpe: Why do I feel like a jury when I look at this?
Zack: I've never wanted to try to fuck a dandelion less.
Dr. Thorpe: This is where BDSM meets awwww, wook at da adowabuh babee chickeee!
Zack: Awwww its twying to eat a hambuwga....oh no....
Dr. Thorpe: The saddest part about this whole affair is the dude with half a boner just raring to get into this candyfloss gimp suit, but he's like "arrrrgh, still gotta spend 56 hours knitting the left arm thing!"
Zack: Not to mention his frustration at the dozens of times his cat ran off with his garters.
Dr. Thorpe: "Bad kitty! Not a toy! Can't you see it's erotic!?"
Zack: And the cat slinks off to go sleep on grandma in her 80 kilo wool poncho.
Dr. Thorpe: Never to be seen again.
Zack: I wonder if these people devote as much time to making erotic sweaters for their Second Life characters. I have to assume the answer is yes.
Dr. Thorpe: There's probably an Oblivion mod for this.
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Men's Hats Ranked From Most to Least Tainted
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
All the So-Called 'Blatant Eroticism' in My Stories Has a Valid, In-Universe Justification
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Mission Air
Even the Armor of God won’t save you from flying missionaries, terrible banditos, or Tom Arnold!
Pop-Up Ads Throughout History!
SA takes a look back at what our ancestors from the dawn of civilization clicked on THEIR computers!
Sunless Sea
My time as a captain in Sunless Sea, plus a review of Homeworld Remastered Collection
About This Column
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.
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