Memos from Bear Cave: The '79 Houston Soup & Broth Expo
TO: Employees of Bear Cave Soup Co.
DATE: February 12, 1979
SUBJECT: Rumors
The Soup & Broth Expo wrapped up yesterday, and you're probably going to hear some stories. Some of them are true, some of them are not. All you need to know is that I work harder than any son of a bitch in this entire damn company, and Soup & Broth is the one time every year where I have the freedom to let loose. I don't pay you to do anything but work, so don't even think about listening to or repeating any of these rumors. The day after Soup & Broth is always the longest day of the year, so focus on doing your damn jobs and we can all get through this.
If you hear any bad rumors, assume it is bullshit and punch the son of a bitch who told you it in the face.
TO: Employees of Bear Cave Soup Co.
DATE: February 12, 1979
SUBJECT: My New Wife
In spite of my last warning, a number of you are speaking ill of the woman I married at Soup & Broth. Yes, she was formerly employed as a prostitute. Since marrying me, she has changed her profession. I don't want to hear about any of you lousy imbeciles speaking ill of any lady, much less my wife.
TO: Employees of Bear Cave Soup Co.
DATE: February 12, 1979
SUBJECT: Jim Carlyle is now fired
Jim, if you're going to proposition my wife for sex, at least have the decency to offer her a fair sum. Clean out your desk, pervert. You're lucky I don't cave your face in with my boot heel, because that's what you really deserve.
