Instructor: Doctor, to you.
Phone: I will not answer.
Email: I will not respond.
Course Goals and Objectives:By the end of the semester, every student is expected to receive each of the following from me:
- Condescending and Critical Remarks regarding intelligence, appearance, and socioeconomic status.
- Bold Lies regarding grades, due dates, and class expectations
- Contradicting and Confusing lessons
- Three Hundred Dollars of Debt
- An F or Another Non-passing Grade.
Objectives will be completed through poorly explained assignments, dubious test questions, a variety of thick accents that range from central Africa, eastern Asia, Australia, and a Donald Duck impression, and photocopies of this quality:
Texts and Required Materials:
Unabridged Dictionary circa late 19th century,
Policies and Procedures:Absences: Because tearing a person's self esteem down to nothing takes time, attendance is required for every class. There are no excused absences. Death of a family member or yourself is unfortunate but no reason to miss my lecture. In the common occurrence that I cancel class without notifying anyone, you are still expected to remain seated and silent throughout the class period. On the second absence (6%), no matter what the reason, students will fail the class.