

Aside from the unprecedented sixth championship victories and the three unsolved deaths on the Bampton Estates, the most intriguing fact about Sir Geoff is that his first name is actually Sir. Before being Knighted and aborting the Queen's fetus, before he killed his fiancé, and before he knew his power, Sir Geoff Bampton was forced to spend the majority of his days explaining why his father left with him with such an absurd name. According to legend, his father selected the name Sir as a source of motivation, believing his son had to either achieve something great or suffer a life of humiliation, constantly reminded of his failure. It seems to have worked. At a very young age, Sir Geoff seemed destined for success in whatever field he tried. Painting, baseball, timed geography, key cutting. He was the best at them all. Unfortunately his father, in a seemingly vicious attempt to make his son's ambition for a normal life more difficult, severed all financial support for his son, and some time in 1911 also severed all the fingers from Sir Geoff's right hand. After twelve hours of arguments and bargaining, the doctors were allowed to sew the loose digits back under the condition that none were in their original order. Unable to grip anything in his hand, Sir Geoff was left with only his voice to gain the world's attention. The rest, of course, is history.Sir Geoff's next two selections caught the CLNS board off guard. As a long time opponent of officially sanctioned music, Sir Geoff seems to have chosen from categories unfamiliar to him: Rap and Prog Rock.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Copyright ©2025 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful