Twittering From Paul Newman's Funeral
Friends, I bring you the sad news that movie legend Paul Newman died Saturday after a long fight against time and also lung cancer. The world is a little less dramatic and the world's salad is a little less dressed than it was on Friday. Experts believe one contributing cause might be the death of Paul Newman.
Newman was a hero to all of us here at Something Awful. He appeared in over 60 movies from the 1950s all the way until 2007. These weren't some shoestring budget suck-and-fuck gonzo quickies shot on a handycam in a Day's Inn off route 14 and posted up to a website in the Czech Republic. Newman made honest-to-god American cinema classics like Up a Bird, Fold It In, Fancy, Hoop! and The Grigs Memorandum.
Newman never got his cock out in over 50 years of film. Not once. Not even to have a piss. He let it go right down his leg and ate an egg, because that's how men were in his day and that's the sort of real man Paul Newman is. Was.
To commemorate his career and celebrate his life we have decided to provide on the scene coverage of Mr. Newman's funeral. None of our usual writers were willing to take on the ghoulish task of blogging the funeral from the funeral, so I contacted Rocky Mountain News reporter Berny Morson.
Morson is a Twitter expert and he recently covered the funeral of a murdered child by updating his Twitter page from his cellphone while the funeral was ongoing. This raised eyebrows, the sort of eyebrows that we have above our eyes here at Something Awful.
We asked Mr. Morson to cover Newman's funeral for us and Berny was glad to be out of Colorado. It is a loathsome state of no great splendor only made uglier by the doll-eyed sows that waddle around its streams and dreary hills.
If you have difficulty viewing the feed on this page you can head directly to Twitter and fuck yourself.
,
,
This Week on Something Awful...
-
The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
-
Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
-
LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
-
Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.
Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.
