You don't need it so I won't give you one, grandma (if that is your real name). Just kidding. How about Tiny Tot?
Dear Stair Rails, have you seen High Tension? (Warning to Stair Rails and readers alike: Not Work Safe!)
You know those shows with the creepy Internet sex perverts? I wanna be one of those guys. Wait, come back!
I assume this is actually remarkably dirty but I have no idea what's going on here.