I just wanted to note a quick apology for the last few Goldmines and the lack of Thing of the Week. If they seem like they've been dashed off at the last moment (or, in the case of Thing of the Week, neglected entirely), it's because they were. I've been in the middle of finishing a massive research assignment, moving, and starting a new job, and haven't had a ton of time to look for really good threads or putting in a ton of effort to presenting them the best.
Hopefully that will change in the next week or so as things settle down. But if you are a forums reader, and you would love to see a thread in the Goldmine that I've somehow missed, feel free to send me an email berating me and telling me why your thread should be included. Thank you Internet, your kind forgiving nature is lovely as long as I think that no news is good news.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!