Daveda Gruber (born at some point in the somewhat distant past, died at some point in the recent past) is known for many things. A spare, fiercely blunt prose style. The captivating ambiguity of her philosophy. Her powerful and deeply unpleasant musk when she went grocery shopping Thursdays after the gym without showering first. These are what defined her as a literary icon; these are what etched her into the national consciousness.

Her first major work, The Blond who Found Jesus, about a blond who found Jesus, brought the young author roaring into the national spotlight. From its first words ("Once, there was a blond") to its last words ("and that's how she found Jesus"), it was a mesmerizing artistic statement, defining her instantly as an icon for blond Christians and people who were not blond Christians alike.

Following this legendary introduction to the world, there lies a a period shrouded in reclusive mystery, wherein she did not write for 35 years. What were her reasons for this self-imposed exile from the world of words? What was she thinking during her personal "dark ages"? We don't know, she didn't write a single fucking thing down.

Finally, after her legions of fans had nearly given up hope, Deveda's pen spoke out once more with the release of Tales of a Tiny Dog. After that, she died. This has been Deveda Gruber: An Artist's Life.


1. Gruber, Deveda. The Blond who Found Jesus.

2. Gruber, Deveda. Tales of a Tiny Dog.

– Joseph "Maxnmona" Fink

More Daily Dirt

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.