Didn't come out exactly how I wanted it to. I guess I did succeed with my first goal, which was to write something shorter than I usually do. I'm still in the "I just got this done" phase so I'm still not sure if it's funny or not. I guess we will see what happens!
The Pregame Wrapup Super Bowl special will run a week from today (Feb. 4). I was going to do a front page on it (and I still might, depending on what Maxnmona's doing), but I figured if I have a sports column I might as well use it for the biggest sporting event in the US, and then on the day it's happening. It should give me more time to collect material to make fun of, too.
Finally, thanks to Microwave for the drawing at the end.
Go Colts! I'm really happy to see one of "my teams" make it to a championship game and I can't wait to watch them play the Bears. I know the Colts are favored to win and all, but honestly, a team that's lost to the Texans should never be the one you bet on. I'm guessing it's going to boil down to who screws up worse, Manning or Grossman.
And to whoever it was who emailed and asked, no, I've not watched any sports coverage on ESPN since the game. I read Web sites and sports pages but I'll be ignoring TV media until after the "hurrr Peyton Manning is in a lot of commercials hurrr Rex Grossman is inconsistent hurrr I get paid $50,000 a year to be more boring and predictable than the church channel" crap is over. That's the way I roll, bitch.
The next one will feature some honest impressions on the big Pacers trade and probably a new Crybaby Bitch of the Week. The three of you that read should be sure and tell your friends! Maybe we can crack ten pageviews this week!
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!