Didn't come out exactly how I wanted it to. I guess I did succeed with my first goal, which was to write something shorter than I usually do. I'm still in the "I just got this done" phase so I'm still not sure if it's funny or not. I guess we will see what happens!
The Pregame Wrapup Super Bowl special will run a week from today (Feb. 4). I was going to do a front page on it (and I still might, depending on what Maxnmona's doing), but I figured if I have a sports column I might as well use it for the biggest sporting event in the US, and then on the day it's happening. It should give me more time to collect material to make fun of, too.
Finally, thanks to Microwave for the drawing at the end.
Go Colts! I'm really happy to see one of "my teams" make it to a championship game and I can't wait to watch them play the Bears. I know the Colts are favored to win and all, but honestly, a team that's lost to the Texans should never be the one you bet on. I'm guessing it's going to boil down to who screws up worse, Manning or Grossman.
And to whoever it was who emailed and asked, no, I've not watched any sports coverage on ESPN since the game. I read Web sites and sports pages but I'll be ignoring TV media until after the "hurrr Peyton Manning is in a lot of commercials hurrr Rex Grossman is inconsistent hurrr I get paid $50,000 a year to be more boring and predictable than the church channel" crap is over. That's the way I roll, bitch.
The next one will feature some honest impressions on the big Pacers trade and probably a new Crybaby Bitch of the Week. The three of you that read should be sure and tell your friends! Maybe we can crack ten pageviews this week!
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!