I feel like I kind of missed the mark with this one but whatever. For as short as it is it was really hard to write. I know most of you aren't sympathetic so I'll sum up this paragraph for you in a word: WAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Per usual a few members of the SA Forums contributed a lot to this article. I'd like to thank "Mathemagician", who designed the fake ad, and "Fork Banger", who turned my PDF designs into JPEGs, for their help. Thanks, guys!
Because of a niggling fear of failing in the real world I had to drop movie reviews to make up some spare time in IRL (that's leetspeak for "in real life"). I loved doing the job and I'm glad I got a few chuckles out of you readers, and I'll certainly miss the hilarious "HAVE YOU SEEN SNAKES ON A PLANE" emails. I started my SA job with movie reviews so it kind of sucks, but I'm glad I still get to do Pregame Wrapup and front pages. Thanks to anyone who took the time to write in and tell me they enjoyed a review -- I wouldn't be writing if someone wasn't enjoying it.
The next Pregame Wrapup will be a SUPER TRIPLE FEATURE, with an MLB playoff preview, a review of next-gen basketball games, and NFL predictions. I'm so excited!!!!
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!