I feel like I kind of missed the mark with this one but whatever. For as short as it is it was really hard to write. I know most of you aren't sympathetic so I'll sum up this paragraph for you in a word: WAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Per usual a few members of the SA Forums contributed a lot to this article. I'd like to thank "Mathemagician", who designed the fake ad, and "Fork Banger", who turned my PDF designs into JPEGs, for their help. Thanks, guys!
Because of a niggling fear of failing in the real world I had to drop movie reviews to make up some spare time in IRL (that's leetspeak for "in real life"). I loved doing the job and I'm glad I got a few chuckles out of you readers, and I'll certainly miss the hilarious "HAVE YOU SEEN SNAKES ON A PLANE" emails. I started my SA job with movie reviews so it kind of sucks, but I'm glad I still get to do Pregame Wrapup and front pages. Thanks to anyone who took the time to write in and tell me they enjoyed a review -- I wouldn't be writing if someone wasn't enjoying it.
The next Pregame Wrapup will be a SUPER TRIPLE FEATURE, with an MLB playoff preview, a review of next-gen basketball games, and NFL predictions. I'm so excited!!!!
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!