I feel like I kind of missed the mark with this one but whatever. For as short as it is it was really hard to write. I know most of you aren't sympathetic so I'll sum up this paragraph for you in a word: WAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Per usual a few members of the SA Forums contributed a lot to this article. I'd like to thank "Mathemagician", who designed the fake ad, and "Fork Banger", who turned my PDF designs into JPEGs, for their help. Thanks, guys!
Because of a niggling fear of failing in the real world I had to drop movie reviews to make up some spare time in IRL (that's leetspeak for "in real life"). I loved doing the job and I'm glad I got a few chuckles out of you readers, and I'll certainly miss the hilarious "HAVE YOU SEEN SNAKES ON A PLANE" emails. I started my SA job with movie reviews so it kind of sucks, but I'm glad I still get to do Pregame Wrapup and front pages. Thanks to anyone who took the time to write in and tell me they enjoyed a review -- I wouldn't be writing if someone wasn't enjoying it.
The next Pregame Wrapup will be a SUPER TRIPLE FEATURE, with an MLB playoff preview, a review of next-gen basketball games, and NFL predictions. I'm so excited!!!!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!