Ragtime Piglet: Hey Hitlerdog lets dance!
Hitlerdog: Nein! Dancing is for artists and homosexuals!
Ragtime Piglet: Aww c,mon Hitlerdog kick up your Sunday shoes.
Hitlerdog: Get on ze train! Dancing is forbidden!
Ragtime Piglet: What about the time you hopped around when Paris was captured?
Hitlerdog: Oh well I guess that was fun. Hey, this isn't half bad. WEEEEE!
Ragtime Piglet: Conquest isn't everything Hitlerdog, you need to have fun sometimes because life is too short to get stressed out.
Hitlerdog: I have seen the error of my ways and will live the rest of my life in peace painting pictures of windmills.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!