Ragtime Piglet: Hey Hitlerdog lets dance!
Hitlerdog: Nein! Dancing is for artists and homosexuals!
Ragtime Piglet: Aww c,mon Hitlerdog kick up your Sunday shoes.
Hitlerdog: Get on ze train! Dancing is forbidden!
Ragtime Piglet: What about the time you hopped around when Paris was captured?
Hitlerdog: Oh well I guess that was fun. Hey, this isn't half bad. WEEEEE!
Ragtime Piglet: Conquest isn't everything Hitlerdog, you need to have fun sometimes because life is too short to get stressed out.
Hitlerdog: I have seen the error of my ways and will live the rest of my life in peace painting pictures of windmills.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!