Back in October, I started a local comedy blog with a friend of mine, and we recently decided it would be a good idea to host a live show where we could perform some of the riffed educational shorts we've done for our website, and debut a brand new one for the sake of an audience demanding three dollars worth of entertainment. I can't guarantee your safety should you enter the lawless borders of Youngstown, Ohio, but I can guarantee you'll have a good time or at least get the chance to stab a G-level Internet celebrity to death with the object of your choice.
(Click for a bigger version that might possibly be legible!)
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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