Today's update is my last Comedy Goldmine article. I've come down with an incurable case of occupational overtime and Lowtax has been nice enough to let me go on indefinite sick leave to combat it. Mine is a far kinder - though far less spectacular - exit than that of my predecessor Russ, whom as you will recall died peacefully in his sleep crushed by his ceiling and walls.
I'd like to thank all of the forums goons who contributed some really great material. Some of their threads that I profiled - The Last Days of Capitalism comes to mind - were some of the funniest and most creative things I've ever read anywhere. However much I make fun of it for being filled with narcissistic and creepy manchildren I really do think these are the best forums on the web.
There was some really great content that I was never able to feature in the Goldmine, either because the format didn't work or there wasn't quite enough material to drive a whole article. So here are some links that you should click on if you want to giggle like a loon:
Actually, since the Roll Call Rap - where lil raphandz took a picture of a bunch of Internet tough guys at their anime club meeting and made a rap of it - is amazing I'm going to close with a music video of that. That's it! Bye!
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
Denzel is here to set the movie scales back to zero. That's what an equalizer does, right?
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!