Today's update is my last Comedy Goldmine article. I've come down with an incurable case of occupational overtime and Lowtax has been nice enough to let me go on indefinite sick leave to combat it. Mine is a far kinder - though far less spectacular - exit than that of my predecessor Russ, whom as you will recall died peacefully in his sleep crushed by his ceiling and walls.
I'd like to thank all of the forums goons who contributed some really great material. Some of their threads that I profiled - The Last Days of Capitalism comes to mind - were some of the funniest and most creative things I've ever read anywhere. However much I make fun of it for being filled with narcissistic and creepy manchildren I really do think these are the best forums on the web.
There was some really great content that I was never able to feature in the Goldmine, either because the format didn't work or there wasn't quite enough material to drive a whole article. So here are some links that you should click on if you want to giggle like a loon:
Actually, since the Roll Call Rap - where lil raphandz took a picture of a bunch of Internet tough guys at their anime club meeting and made a rap of it - is amazing I'm going to close with a music video of that. That's it! Bye!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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