If you have the bottom of your monitor covered and you can't see the date, let me help you by stating the year is 2008. This makes it around three years since 2005, when the Comedy Goldmine featured a highly controversial article by the name of Compare Your Genitals to Cars. It's taken until now for the heated debate around the edgy content featured in that article to settle, but now I'm ready open a whole new can of worms (not literally). Today is a great day for a whole new batch of musical themed dick jokes, courtesy of Sick_Boy and the rest of the highbrow Forum Goons!
My penis is like Television- no matter how hard I try to shove it down's people's throats, it is never appreciated.
My cock is like Shane McGowan. It did some really great stuff but hasn't done anything meaningful in years.
My dick is like Ringo Starr. He just doesn't compare to the others.
My cock is like Manowar : oiled up, dressed in leather chaps and ready to rock your face off.
My vagina is Thom Yorke. It is droopy and sad to look at.
My cock is like Joy Division; it tragically collapses right before it becomes huge.
My knob is like the Tragically Hip. It used to get played four or five times a day, but now it only shows up long enough to make you long for the days when it was worth not hitting the snooze button for.
My dick is like The Beatles: It's bigger than Jesus.
My cock is like a Philip Glass piece: Long, but still minimalistic.
My penis is like Jimi Hendrix. Almost all of its attention comes from solos.
My vagina is like Bjork. Sometimes it's just completely inaccessible.
My penis is like Frank Zappa: brilliant on every level, but so unusual and unpopular that it never gets any play.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.