Zack: Plant some orange trees, end up with a tribe of goth waifs. I hope you really like oranges...
Steve: I do really like oranges. Favorite juice, hands down. Apple is second, but if I drink too much of it and it's cold I get cramps.
Zack: What about goth waifs?
Steve: They don't give me cramps.
Zack: A few years back all goths were waifs. These days all that damn fructose has turned them into bloated goths.
Steve: Maybe that's why nobody drinks juice anymore.
Steve: Yeah, they drink those Mystical drinks which are not mystical at all they taste like Kool Aid with extra sugar. Or if they do drink juice it costs five dollars for one serving and it's got to have pomegranates in it. When did everyone decide those were the best fruit? How about put some cherries in it. Cherry orange juice.
Zack: I prefer racial purity in my fruit juices. If God intended cran to lie down with apple he would have made a cranapple tree.
Steve: And it would have come with some real skinny goths. None of these bogus tubby goths. Thanks, god.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.