Steve: If she was such a dang Supra-genius maybe she would lay off the baklava a little bit.
Zack: The Padishate practices fat acceptance. Big is beautiful, Steve. Or in this case, big is "the handsomest."
Steve: Stuck in magic bottle, plz send hummus.
Zack: Rough night for the Genie husband. "No, sweetheart, the curly-toed shoes and Hammer pants don't make you look fat. Yes, the cape is very slimming."
Steve: "I wish I was skinny but I cannot grant my own wish. It is the genie's burden."
Zack: If astronaut Major Nelson found this sucker on that desert island I have a feeling inside six hours the CIA would be dosing her with LSD and trying to wish away communism.
Zack: Although it lends new credence to the network's decision to ban bellybuttons.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.