Planescape Monstrous Compendium Appendix III is an official TSR monster supplement full of monsters nobody ever fought. Planescape was a last gasp of 2nd Edition creativity that developed an alternative setting and attitude to match the 1990s culture, sort of a cockney industrial band meets the Wizard of Oz. Planescape was not without serious flaws. To complete the interlocking wheels of the convoluted D&D planar cosmology Planescape included the inner planes as elemental building blocks of all the other planes. Imagine traveling to a planet of fire and you are breathing fire and walking on fire and the city you are in is made of fire. Sound fun? To populate fire world you're going to need a bunch of fire people. That's where D&D powerhouse Monte Cook's Planescape Monstrous Compendium Appendix III comes into the picture. Poor Monte and his crew had to dream up the monsters that live on planes DMs will probably never use. Thanks to reader Patrick S. for the suggestion and the help.
Steve: Oh man, Planescape was my favorite. Infinite possibilities.
Zack: American McGee's Dungeons & Dragons.
Steve: Harsh. Harsh, bro. They were years ahead of him in featuring long-legged elves wearing stripey socks and carrying around skulls.
Steve: Dude, Dragonlance. Spelljammer. Planescape was just one of many great settings.Zack: Alright, alright. Planescape was a fun setting. A mess, but a fun setting. Speaking of which, no part of Planescape was messier than the inner planes, where stuff started getting metaphysical.
Steve: The inner planes explored sweet themes beyond man bites dragon. Like imagine if you were fighting your Id and it was a monster or you were floating around in a room made of clocks and a hungry ball of antimatter tentacles was your inner lust for your mother.
Zack: That sounds about right, going by the quote on the back of the book:
Steve: He probably uses a +2 or better weapon.
Zack: Can you defeat the Creole language? Dare you face down patent law? What is a Berk?
Steve: That's a guy. Like a "dude" or a "bro."
Zack: Informal text laden with slang: you're gaming in the '90s, chummer.
The Remains of Bidet (James Ivory, 1993)
We might find we have more in common than we think if we just stop fighting long enough to combine our bodies into a singular organism.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.