Zack: You'd think there would be less conspicuous messengers. Like a guy with a bike, or a flying pillow or whatever the bike-equivalent would be in Al-Qadim.
Steve: A dude like this used to go to the same gas station as me every morning. I'd get a long john and he would buy two instant lotto tickets and a bottle of blue bug juice.
Zack: You should have bartered with him. Half your donut for a swig of the bug juice and one of the lotto tickets.
Steve: Dude looked like he would mega-backwash in his bug juice.
Zack: Fire-winged Sikhs with scimitars and bird claws for feet are known as mad back-washers. It's like a tartar tide rolling in whenever they take a sip.
Steve: He didn't have any of that stuff. I don't know if he was a Sikh or whatever. He was wearing a Magic Johnson jersey and I think he was Chinese.
Zack: Is this another one of your dreams that you think really happened?
Steve: Yeah, maybe.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.