Zack: Welcome to the Erotic Monster Manual.
Steve: Maybe it's the barely-swaddled rack or the muscly butt sticking out, but I think you just had the best idea ever in history.
Zack: An erotic monster manual?
Steve: Uhhhh yeah, dude. The magical powers of D&D plus the untamed eroticism of fantasy artwork. Picture an orc.
Steve: Now picture an orc version of that Matrix woman with the big hooters and she's like taking a bath in oil so she's all greasy and she has an axe and she's getting ready to kill like a snake coming out of the bath. No, better dude, a naga. A hot-faced naga that was in the bath, like think about the erotic scenarios of that.Zack: This is the worst thing you've ever thought of.
Steve: Uh, wrong, 100%. Do you have any idea how much money Boris Vallejo makes? It's got to be like 40,000 dollars a year. We could probably make at least half that much if we did an Erotic Monster Manual. Then we'd have all the RPG books we'd ever need.
Zack: With each word you type I hate you more and more.Steve: Don't hate the player, son, hate the game!!
Zack: Alright, I hate Dungeons & Dragons.Steve: Now I know you're just kidding around.
The Remains of Bidet (James Ivory, 1993)
We might find we have more in common than we think if we just stop fighting long enough to combine our bodies into a singular organism.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.