Zack: Welcome to the Erotic Monster Manual.

Steve: Maybe it's the barely-swaddled rack or the muscly butt sticking out, but I think you just had the best idea ever in history.

Zack: An erotic monster manual?

Steve: Uhhhh yeah, dude. The magical powers of D&D plus the untamed eroticism of fantasy artwork. Picture an orc.

Zack: Okay.

Steve: Now picture an orc version of that Matrix woman with the big hooters and she's like taking a bath in oil so she's all greasy and she has an axe and she's getting ready to kill like a snake coming out of the bath. No, better dude, a naga. A hot-faced naga that was in the bath, like think about the erotic scenarios of that.

Zack: This is the worst thing you've ever thought of.

Steve: Uh, wrong, 100%. Do you have any idea how much money Boris Vallejo makes? It's got to be like 40,000 dollars a year. We could probably make at least half that much if we did an Erotic Monster Manual. Then we'd have all the RPG books we'd ever need.

Zack: With each word you type I hate you more and more.

Steve: Don't hate the player, son, hate the game!!

Zack: Alright, I hate Dungeons & Dragons.

Steve: Now I know you're just kidding around.

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

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