Zack: Let's put on the COMPTON hat +1 and get ruthless all in some books.
Steve: Pop some caps on the library?
Zack: Steve, you are embarrassing. That is some studio gangsta shit. Eazy-E is a soft-spoken intellectual. A Real muthafuckin G does not need to act hard all the time. He just is what he is.
Steve: Okay you call a taxi and they take you to the East Chicago Library of Antiquities. It is in a small red pyramid located in the woods. The librarian is a bald man with his eyes sewn shut. He greets you wordlessly and opens the gate to the most forbidden tomes.
Zack: Apparently not that forbidden if a guy in a windbreaker just shows up at his pyramid and he opens the tomes.
Steve: "I just work here," says the blind giant as he follows behind you.
Zack: "Quit hovering around me, Fester. I got real work to do."
Steve: He ambles back to his iron cage.
Zack: He's worse than Dre. E is going to search the books like I said.
Steve: Alright, let's average his ancient texts skills and Library use skill.
Steve: Roll it.
Steve: You spend an hour searching through the musty tomes. You read some terrible things and gain 1 point of cthulhu mythos and lose 1 sanity, but you do not find anything related to the flame cult.
Zack: Search it again. Westcoast don't quit. Rolled 15.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.