Steve: I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to be playing Star Wars.
Zack: Please, begin to tell me.
Steve: It is maybe my favorite setting of anything and ripe for adventures.
Zack: So tell me about your character.
Zack: Those are the lizard guys who wear space suits.
Steve: Right. Luke cut the hand off one in the Cantina and another one is the infamous bounty hunter Bossk.
Steve: Blurg is a new Jedi. He likes nice things. He wears a big fur coat everywhere and his light saber glows black. He wields a chrome plated blaster and he has an expensive speeder. His brother joined the Empire and was killed in action by an Ewok, so Blurg hates Ewoks. Blurg is also very stupid, but very strong.
Zack: Alright, and since you're only level 2 we worked out that Blurg is going to be a Padwan who is training with Jedi Ruth Sargasso. She is a big fat human Jedi. She is the only Jedi to wield a quadruple light saber.
Steve: How does that work?
Zack: Have you seen Krull?
Zack: It's nothing like Krull.
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
This lousy world just gets lousier every year as these stores put out their skeletons and Santas in summer.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.