Zack: Eat your heart out, every video game ever. Fiend Folio just took spider monsters to the next level.
Steve: More legs truly does equal more horror.
Zack: "We already have giant spiders and spider swarms and poison spiders and spider centaur dudes. I think we need to take it to the next level. All-legs spider."
Steve: Special attack is to get under your blanket when you're in bed and wait until right as you're about to fall asleep and then run out from under the blanket and scurry across your face.Zack: I was dropping sewer pigs in the boom bucket a couple days ago, reading a copy of the novelization of Smoking Aces, and a spider must have gotten into my hair. Right as I get to the part where there is a 28-page gunfight a spider runs across my glasses.
Steve: What did you do?
Zack: The only thing I could do: I died. I am dead. I am a ghost typing this.
Steve: You're not a ghost.
Zack: But you can't prove I'm not a ghost.
Steve: Well you can't prove I'M not a ghost.
Zack: Yes, I can, because all ghosts have the power to sense one another and I know you're not a ghost.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.