Zack: Brain, comin' through. Yep, just walking on my brain sticks. Opening doors with my brain hands.
Steve: I don't know if I would call those hands. Brain meat cones.
Zack: According to the text this thing is made out of brains by Mind Flayers to "fulfill their desires."
Steve: I desire my whole house smells like nasty brains. Heyyyy, thanks, brain golem.
Zack: I desire to have my shit scared senseless when I get up in the middle of the night to take a piss and walk face-first into hamburger brains here.
Steve: Maybe he's really good at math and Mind Flayers need lots of math questions answered.
Zack: Better break out the flash cards because this dude's intelligence is 6.
Steve: Maybe they just lick it all day like a big candy man.
Zack: You know what they say. If Mind Flayers could all have brain golems none of them would ever leave the house.
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