Zack: Brain, comin' through. Yep, just walking on my brain sticks. Opening doors with my brain hands.
Steve: I don't know if I would call those hands. Brain meat cones.
Zack: According to the text this thing is made out of brains by Mind Flayers to "fulfill their desires."
Steve: I desire my whole house smells like nasty brains. Heyyyy, thanks, brain golem.
Zack: I desire to have my shit scared senseless when I get up in the middle of the night to take a piss and walk face-first into hamburger brains here.
Steve: Maybe he's really good at math and Mind Flayers need lots of math questions answered.
Zack: Better break out the flash cards because this dude's intelligence is 6.
Steve: Maybe they just lick it all day like a big candy man.
Zack: You know what they say. If Mind Flayers could all have brain golems none of them would ever leave the house.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.