Steve: This has been traumatic for several reasons.
Zack: I'd like to think of it as more of a wake up call than a trauma.
Steve: What is this thing? Is that a cookie sword? I don't even know anymore, we've looked at so many of these.
Zack: Just another horrible monster with nonsensical design. Sort of a cross between a devil pimp and a rocking horse.
Steve: Great workout routine though. Really good Bally's in the City of Brass.
Zack: How does it feel to have finally broken into 3rd Edition?Steve: I was excited at first and now I feel sort of sick and depressed. It's like if your hero was Batman and then you went into a burrito place and you saw Batman just screaming his head off about them getting his order wrong. Really just laying into these poor Mexican guys who barely speak English and threatening them way beyond what is necessary.
Zack: That's what you got out of this?
Steve: That and I think you made me stare at a bloody butt.
Zack: Me? No. Wizards of the Coast did that to you, Steve. I just highlighted the details.Steve: Thanks.
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Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.