Black Friday is almost upon us, but what do you get for the gamer who has everything? More Star Wars novels? Another dice bag? Fifteen more Talisman expansions? Maybe if you don't read WTF, D&D!? We have the ultimate gift guide for the traditional gamer in your life.
Zack: The final word in home defense.
Steve: This is great if you are facing horsemen.
Zack: A common 21st century problem.
Steve: Hey, not every place is America. In some parts of the world there are still horsemen.
Zack: Wait, we're not back on your "centaurs are real" kick are we?
Steve: These would also work against centaurs if you happened to face some of them.
Zack: What if the centaurs were armed with halberds?
Steve: Well then you have a regular paper/paper or scissors/scissors scenario. Nobody wins.
Zack: Except for the goddamn halberd manufacturers profiteering off the great centaur wars.
Steve: So maybe don't buy this because you will be supporting big halberd.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.