Black Friday is almost upon us, but what do you get for the gamer who has everything? More Star Wars novels? Another dice bag? Fifteen more Talisman expansions? Maybe if you don't read WTF, D&D!? We have the ultimate gift guide for the traditional gamer in your life.

Zack: The final word in home defense.

Steve: This is great if you are facing horsemen.

Zack: A common 21st century problem.

Steve: Hey, not every place is America. In some parts of the world there are still horsemen.

Zack: Wait, we're not back on your "centaurs are real" kick are we?

Steve: These would also work against centaurs if you happened to face some of them.

Zack: What if the centaurs were armed with halberds?

Steve: Well then you have a regular paper/paper or scissors/scissors scenario. Nobody wins.

Zack: Except for the goddamn halberd manufacturers profiteering off the great centaur wars.

Steve: So maybe don't buy this because you will be supporting big halberd.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.