Steve: Sometimes being a gamer we overlook the world around us for the worlds of our imagination. But if you are looking for a great, classy way to illuminate your abode you can't go wrong with this red dragon and Celtic cross candle holder.
Zack: There are five different things I want to talk about with what you just said and I don't know where to start. Abode. ABODE!
Zack: Never buy this.
Steve: What? You can't slam my fresh style like that. This is supposed to be helping people with some wicked votive holders.
Zack: Alright, if you want to say 'hey, I believe in God but also the power of dragons' then here you go. Light a votive under this bad boy.
Steve: Now you're talking. You know, I could have picked the sexy angel tied to the candle holder like you're melting wax all over her.
Zack: Nothing classes up a gameroom quite like suggested violence against women.
Steve: God created angels, and technically they have no gender, although I think in the bible they are all referred to as He.
Zack: I'm not touching that. I learned my lesson from Penny Arcade even if Penny Arcade is unable to learn the lesson.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.