This very small chamber is more of a passageway than a room. It is very cramped and there are several sets of empty shelves on the walls. There is a door on the opposite side of the room.Steve: An airlock? What could they be hiding on the other side? Are there any space suits?
Zack: It's not an airlock.Steve: It must be a trap. I'm going to throw one of the dead acolytes in there so he can be shot with the hidden arrows.
Zack: The floor swings open and his body falls into a dark pit. The floor slides back into place.Steve: Nice try, gravity. Looks like I was one step ahead of you. Is there a way across the room that won't trigger the trap?
Zack: You shimmy across a ledge and reach the door. It opens into a room that appears to be the barracks of the acolytes you killed
Steve: I'm going to search their stuff for letters and correspondences with their families.
Zack: You find some letters from loved ones. They acolytes of some evil cleric named Catharandamus. These were real men, with real emotions, and they had families they were trying to convert to Catharandamus.
Steve: I am going to change all their letters to talk about a molester scandal with Cathy. His corrupt church must fall, it is rotten from within.
Zack: No one is going to mail these letters.
Steve: I will deliver them personally. Up ol' Cathy's crap hole.
Zack: You spend more than an hour re-writing the dead acolytes' letters home with convincing tales of sexual assault by Catharandamus. There is a door on the eastern wall.
Steve: Open it.
Zack: You enter a winding hallway. It continues east or there is a door on the south wall.
Steve: A door? I'm not buying it. Continue east.
Zack: The hallway winds south. It continues on, but on your right are two more doors.
Steve: Doors, you say? They seem to be multiplying. I'll open the first one.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.