Zack:

Two passageways can be seen here. Each is behind a double portcullis. The first one leads south, while the second extends west.

Steve: I will heave up the first portcullis with a mighty roar and head south.

Zack: You travel down a dark and foreboding hallway. Your mind is filled with thoughts of possible songs about bats, lichens, and evil, red-eyed rats.

Steve: The finest sort of rat!

Zack: Suddenly, the floor falls away beneath you and you find yourself falling! You are falling into a pit!

Steve: Gravity, unconquerable foe! I shall one day have my revenge in song!

Zack: Luckily you only fall ten feet down into the pit and take 2 points of damage.

Steve: Is that all? I've seen tougher pits at baby schools. I scoff at the pit and utilize my grappling hook to climb out.

Zack: You continue down the hall for a short while longer and you reach a closed, wooden door. Hallways continue to the west and to the east.

Steve: When life gives you doors, make doorade!

Zack: You enter a chamber of unearthly power and fell lightning crackling from eldritch devices. Upon the air is the perfume of evil majicks. Four hooded and robed acolytes adjust profane dials on a machine that seems to be electrifying a dead goblin.

Steve: Acolytes of the Hoary Frostlands! Prepare yourself to witness your Dethroned God Defiled by the Negative Priest of Black Shreds.

Zack: You wail on your guitar, blasting two of them into brain-fried ragdolls. The other two turn on you and attack. One slashes your leather pants, inflicting 3 damage with a rusty knife, the other attacks you with a sword but his blow is deflected by the spikes on your shoulders.

Steve: Syphilitic Spawn of Deepest Water Deep, uncork your black vengeance upon these pant-ruiners. Feel the agony of my feedback!

Zack: Their heads explode, Scanners style.

Steve: Is there any treasure in the room?

Zack: Only the rusty weapons of these twisted acolytes.

Steve: They have sowed a hard wind. Now they will reap what they have wrought with their seeds. What about their device?

Zack: You cannot discern its function, but you see a door on the eastern wall.

Steve: Open it.

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