Zack: "The king has ordered you to peruse the pictures of Flame Princess again."
Steve: I think I'll take the crossbow to the head.Zack: Now you're seeing things my way. It's a humane death. Clean, quick, just a THUNK sound and then darkness.
Steve: Thanks Flame Princess dude for being a weird creepy dude who turned me into a cynical butthead.
Zack: Yes, thanks James Edward Raggi IV, of the Horrornook Raggis, for sending us your game and introducing us to whoever the Flame Princess is, may she rest in peace.
Steve: I hope this doesn't start a trend of people sending in their creepy RPG supplements.Zack: That reminds me, if you are an RPG author, developer, or producer, and you would like us to review your product, please contact me or Steve. I can't promise we will be very nice.
Steve: We may be super nice, especially if your game is not at all about giant monster heads coming out of a babe's private area. Like if you sent us an RPG that was like "hot babes swimming and suntanning and doing karate moves topless to relax the RPG" we would give it great comments.
Zack: Does that mean you're soliciting copies of Anima: Beyond Fantasy?
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.