Zack: "The king has ordered you to peruse the pictures of Flame Princess again."
Steve: I think I'll take the crossbow to the head.Zack: Now you're seeing things my way. It's a humane death. Clean, quick, just a THUNK sound and then darkness.
Steve: Thanks Flame Princess dude for being a weird creepy dude who turned me into a cynical butthead.
Zack: Yes, thanks James Edward Raggi IV, of the Horrornook Raggis, for sending us your game and introducing us to whoever the Flame Princess is, may she rest in peace.
Steve: I hope this doesn't start a trend of people sending in their creepy RPG supplements.Zack: That reminds me, if you are an RPG author, developer, or producer, and you would like us to review your product, please contact me or Steve. I can't promise we will be very nice.
Steve: We may be super nice, especially if your game is not at all about giant monster heads coming out of a babe's private area. Like if you sent us an RPG that was like "hot babes swimming and suntanning and doing karate moves topless to relax the RPG" we would give it great comments.
Zack: Does that mean you're soliciting copies of Anima: Beyond Fantasy?
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.