Steve: Far out, they drew a little p-due on tree man.
Zack: "Aw, come on, baby. It's the middle of December and I'm deciduous. Wait until spring."
Steve: I think if I saw a couple trees doing it hard I would probably watch that. Either that or I would barf.
Zack: I would get my bug out bag, hop in the car, and drive for the tree line of the nearest mountain.
Steve: I bet he's pointing at another tree's dick.
Zack: Okay. This is probably as good a time as any to mention that as we make our way through these books everyone should keep in mind that Dave Arneson was 26 when they were written and Gary Gygax was 35. These were grown ass men approving and, in some cases, producing all this outsider art.
Steve: There's nothing wrong with that Djinni artwork. That's a pretty sweet drawing. Maybe he looks like sort of a dickhead.
Zack: He looks like a swarthy ear of corn.
Steve: The minotaurs call it maze.
Zack: No they don't.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.