Warhammer 40,000 dominates tabletop wargaming with its detailed miniatures and gothic bombast, but long before there were space churches and billion-man wars against sex demons, there was only the half-baked anchovy and soiled diaper pizza of Rogue Trader. This Protohammer 40,000 was as much role playing game as wargame and it was all around ugly, confusing, and full of nightmare-inspiring artwork. It's a credit to the creators that Warhammer survived beyond the chainsaw-mouthed rodents and fat, hippy space marines that filled the pages of Rogue Trader. Two weeks ago Steve and Zack tackled the first part and they're back for the conclusion!


Zack: Did you have a happy Halloween, Steve?

Steve: Yeah and I also had a dream that I died and didn't have to do the second half of this article.

Zack: That's odd, because I had a dream where I killed you and then I became a fat space marine and then there was this other part where all of my teeth fell out and I was peeing inside that little hatch on R2D2, but I don't know if that counts as the same dream.

Steve: Yeah, that sounds right. All of that happened in my dream.

Zack: Steve, you need to look at the bright side of this. We probably won't do a part three on Rogue Trader.

Steve: You don't understand. I am still afraid of some of the stuff we saw last time.

Zack: Alright, if it makes you feel any better I promise to cut out all of the scary pictures. We'll just skip right over them.

Steve: Your word is meaningless to me after you tricked me into reviewing that Street Fighter book.

Zack: Knowing your middle name doesn't really give me power over you.

Zack: Clarence.

Steve: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what have you done!?

Zack: Nothing, yet. I can just put in something like "Clarence," but if you don't go along with this I'll print your true name and anyone will be able to banish you back to hell.

Steve: You win this round

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.