Zack: This one!
Steve: You don't even know what he does.
Zack: It says he ponders magic or whatever and decides to shoot spells.
Steve: That's not what he's about.
Zack: Who cares? Look at that dude, Steve. Look at him.
Steve: I'm looking!
Zack: Steve, that is the smuggest fucking magician dude ever.
Steve: He does look like he knows what he's doing.
Zack: He's totally in charge. Look, he's even throwing the horns and blasting some mind beam shit out at somebody.
Steve: He's not psychic.
Zack: Mind spell then or whatever. He's just concentrating on his own badassness and frying some dudes in a car shaped like a skull.
Steve: That does sound plausible.
Zack: So, yeah, Mystic.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.