Zack: This one!
Steve: You don't even know what he does.
Zack: It says he ponders magic or whatever and decides to shoot spells.
Steve: That's not what he's about.
Zack: Who cares? Look at that dude, Steve. Look at him.
Steve: I'm looking!
Zack: Steve, that is the smuggest fucking magician dude ever.
Steve: He does look like he knows what he's doing.
Zack: He's totally in charge. Look, he's even throwing the horns and blasting some mind beam shit out at somebody.
Steve: He's not psychic.
Zack: Mind spell then or whatever. He's just concentrating on his own badassness and frying some dudes in a car shaped like a skull.
Steve: That does sound plausible.
Zack: So, yeah, Mystic.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.