Zack: This one!Steve: You don't even know what he does.
Zack: It says he ponders magic or whatever and decides to shoot spells.
Steve: That's not what he's about.
Zack: Who cares? Look at that dude, Steve. Look at him.
Steve: I'm looking!
Zack: Steve, that is the smuggest fucking magician dude ever.
Steve: He does look like he knows what he's doing.
Zack: He's totally in charge. Look, he's even throwing the horns and blasting some mind beam shit out at somebody.
Steve: He's not psychic.
Zack: Mind spell then or whatever. He's just concentrating on his own badassness and frying some dudes in a car shaped like a skull.
Steve: That does sound plausible.
Zack: So, yeah, Mystic.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Deities & Demigods (Cthulhu Edition)
- Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Monster Manual (part 2)
- Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Monster Manual (part 1)
