Zack: This one!
Steve: You don't even know what he does.
Zack: It says he ponders magic or whatever and decides to shoot spells.
Steve: That's not what he's about.
Zack: Who cares? Look at that dude, Steve. Look at him.
Steve: I'm looking!
Zack: Steve, that is the smuggest fucking magician dude ever.
Steve: He does look like he knows what he's doing.
Zack: He's totally in charge. Look, he's even throwing the horns and blasting some mind beam shit out at somebody.
Steve: He's not psychic.
Zack: Mind spell then or whatever. He's just concentrating on his own badassness and frying some dudes in a car shaped like a skull.
Steve: That does sound plausible.
Zack: So, yeah, Mystic.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.