Zack: This one!
Steve: You don't even know what he does.
Zack: It says he ponders magic or whatever and decides to shoot spells.
Steve: That's not what he's about.
Zack: Who cares? Look at that dude, Steve. Look at him.
Steve: I'm looking!
Zack: Steve, that is the smuggest fucking magician dude ever.
Steve: He does look like he knows what he's doing.
Zack: He's totally in charge. Look, he's even throwing the horns and blasting some mind beam shit out at somebody.
Steve: He's not psychic.
Zack: Mind spell then or whatever. He's just concentrating on his own badassness and frying some dudes in a car shaped like a skull.
Steve: That does sound plausible.
Zack: So, yeah, Mystic.
In case you read my profile online and got excited, I wanted to clear up any misunderstandings.
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.