FROM: Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
Thank you for clearing this issues up for me, I am not an Internet maker so sometimes deals confuse my face. That is a incredible deal, I do not have to pay you for your jokes? What an amazing time, I try to charge $5.38 for my jokes, selling in bulk rate to financiers of dubious quality and origin. I think your deal is a good deal and I want to make this deal happen, but I have question for you:
Did you not enjoy my jokes? I did like your jokes but if you do not think I am a humor, then maybe I don't know, I'm running a bad site? I need to know if you enjoy my humor before I can make deals with your skull, I think honesty and nurturing is of utmost importance in business relationships. Please let me know if you enjoy my jokes and then we can make unforgettable partnerships of everylasting glory.
If you lost my jokes from last email then here are some more. These are more pleasant to the head than before, I think they are surefire wieiners:
I have more jokes if you wish but I think these are my best so far. Let me please know what you feel and if you are agreeable then we can fashion a business arrangement of a pleasurable type. Thank you and may god bless you Amir.
By far, this is the edgiest and greatest series of jokes ever told in any language. If you disagree with me then you are wrong... OR MY WIFE!!! HAHAHAHA WOMEN.
Ok, I think that your jokes are 100%.
I didn't understand all of them, but those I did are hilarious. I think your site is good and have a lot of fun content. That's why I addressed you in the first place. I think that we can provide your viewers an outstanding added value service and - on the way - make money out of it. As I told you I will pay you 1 USD for each subscriber tat will come from your site and registered to the daily joke via sms service. Also I believe that the users will appreciate you for offering them such an innovative service.
What do u think?
I won! I have claimed victory! Amir likes my jokes! Time for a victory reply.
FROM: Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
My wife has just launched out a baby from her innards, our seventh child! God bless her, we have named this child "Mozilla." However my wife, the sultry money stealing harlot, has said we have had this too many babies now for me to continue my jokes site. She says "dirty humor is for dirty kids and our seventh children shall not be exposed to such mazgruality." I say "honey wife, you are being inreasonable, I shall confine you to a shipping crate for this weekened while you rethink your personality" but she says no.
So I do not know what to do now. She is pulling the plugs on my web site and tells me I cannot make my jokes anymore. What can I do? I love the jokes. I love merrymaking. I have defended many trees. I want to continue my hilarity website, but my wife negates these things. Do you know how I can talk to her? I say to her, "wife, I need to use Amir's jokes on my website, we shall bring in money from ringing cellphones" but she says "do not trust Amir for his jokes are rooted in the great devil and you cannot partner with such a beast."
I do not think you are a great devil Amir but your jokes offenses my wife a lot. We need the money though, are children are growing up in a horsepit. How can I talk to my wife to let her accept your humor and let me continue my job website? I need to spread the jokes like a clown's tooth.
Can you help me please with any advice?
Thank you and god bless.
I have not heard any advice from Amir yet, but I patiently await... WITH MY SILLY WIFE WHO I SHALL PROMPTLY BEAT AHAHAHAHAHA WOMEN!!!
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Our Something Awful email pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these email pranks are all - unfortunately - real.