|Henchman Status Update (3 of 4)|
|The status of Rock Hard Sam Houston has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Texas, Dallas (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Rock Hard Sam Houston, Rock Hard, The Baffler, The Ring Expert
Join Date: 7-19-00
Primary Role: 100% Red-blooded American Whoopass Expert
Secondary Role: Pumping, chugging, strutting, flexing, mic-grabbing,
Specialties: The Rock Hard Baffler (trademark move), waving a flag at 110% patriotism, Scripture quotations of dubious provenance, Rock Hard Saluting
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Caught in time wave aftershock caused by disruptions to the fabric of the chrono continuum. Fatally suplexed, eaten by brontosaurus.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
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