|Henchman Status Update (3 of 4)|
|The status of Rock Hard Sam Houston has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Texas, Dallas (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Rock Hard Sam Houston, Rock Hard, The Baffler, The Ring Expert
Join Date: 7-19-00
Primary Role: 100% Red-blooded American Whoopass Expert
Secondary Role: Pumping, chugging, strutting, flexing, mic-grabbing,
Specialties: The Rock Hard Baffler (trademark move), waving a flag at 110% patriotism, Scripture quotations of dubious provenance, Rock Hard Saluting
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Caught in time wave aftershock caused by disruptions to the fabric of the chrono continuum. Fatally suplexed, eaten by brontosaurus.
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
If you still have any difficulty transitioning to chip readers, please refer to the FAQ compiled from average user reactions.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.