|Henchman Status Update (3 of 4)|
|The status of Rock Hard Sam Houston has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Texas, Dallas (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Rock Hard Sam Houston, Rock Hard, The Baffler, The Ring Expert
Join Date: 7-19-00
Primary Role: 100% Red-blooded American Whoopass Expert
Secondary Role: Pumping, chugging, strutting, flexing, mic-grabbing,
Specialties: The Rock Hard Baffler (trademark move), waving a flag at 110% patriotism, Scripture quotations of dubious provenance, Rock Hard Saluting
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Caught in time wave aftershock caused by disruptions to the fabric of the chrono continuum. Fatally suplexed, eaten by brontosaurus.
This Halloween, the most terrifying house for policemen is opening its doors. If you're a cop, get ready to have nightmares!
Ariana Grande? No way! Here's a podcast that looks squarely at Ariana Grande and says, ‘No way!’
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.