|Henchman Status Update (3 of 4)|
|The status of Rock Hard Sam Houston has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Texas, Dallas (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Rock Hard Sam Houston, Rock Hard, The Baffler, The Ring Expert
Join Date: 7-19-00
Primary Role: 100% Red-blooded American Whoopass Expert
Secondary Role: Pumping, chugging, strutting, flexing, mic-grabbing,
Specialties: The Rock Hard Baffler (trademark move), waving a flag at 110% patriotism, Scripture quotations of dubious provenance, Rock Hard Saluting
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Caught in time wave aftershock caused by disruptions to the fabric of the chrono continuum. Fatally suplexed, eaten by brontosaurus.
More fake science from the mainstream scientists: Dr. Schrodinger claims cat is dead, but cat is alive and a dog.
Yeah, I went there. And I'll go there again. Don't believe me? I'm there ALREADY.
These all just look like normal cats to me.
From what I understand, this genre is about getting eaten by crocodiles. I excel at this.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.