Well, I guess my luck has finally run out; I'm finally going to be murdered by, and due to, the internet. I'd like to thank everybody who visited Something Awful and helped make it what it is today: a website that caused me to become a much more murdered person than I previously was.
This email, one of 189 received, was from a disgruntled individual who simply cannot determine the exact reason we banned him from the forums (I'll give you a hint: HE'S FUCKING NUTSO). After re-registering and getting re-banned what seems like several million times, he decided to begin contacting all the mods and admins (myself included), and notify us of his impending plans to murder and / or sue us all. Again, this is completely rational and justified behavior on a comedy website.
Since I will soon become a murdered person, I decided to read and record one of my murderer's many eloquent and amazing messages. I figured doing this would become a much more difficult task to accomplish after I'm dead, which is why I now present to you this Death Threat From the Internet. And once again, thanks.
Ariana Grande? No way! Here's a podcast that looks squarely at Ariana Grande and says, ‘No way!’
TECHNICALLY A DOG - I have expertly subdivided a horse to create what is, scientifically speaking, a dog. I have done this 10 times before and plan to keep doing it forever!!! $400. 555-2466
The water got bigger? my sand castle was destroyed and we had to move. Who did this?
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