Welcome to Night Vale, from the minds of SA alum Joseph Fink and his writing partner Jeffrey Cranor, is a creepy, funny, sweet, and sometimes profound bi-monthly podcast set in the fictional town of Night Vale. It's a small town where the dog park is forbidden, the sinister Glow Cloud runs the school board, and reality itself bends around the edges.
That's not why you should attend Welcome to Night Vale's October 10th special LIVE performance of a brand new episode or why you should stock up on Night Vale merchandise.
You should do these things because it is commanded by the murmuring voice. You know the one. The voice that comes from behind every door in your house. When you open the door, there is nothing, but when the door is closed you faintly hear, as if from a terrible distance, the instructions of that knowing voice.
"Attend the October 10th performance of Episode 9," it murmurs. "Buy extra tickets. Invite your friends."
"Stock up on merch," it hisses.
Finally, so faint it can barely be heard at all, the voice intones, "Buy raffle tickets for the limb draw at the Fall Harvest Festival. One dollar each. First prize is a refurbished artificial limb. Second prize is an actual human limb donated by a human. There are no other prizes."
I suggest you listen to the voice.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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