Welcome to Night Vale, from the minds of SA alum Joseph Fink and his writing partner Jeffrey Cranor, is a creepy, funny, sweet, and sometimes profound bi-monthly podcast set in the fictional town of Night Vale. It's a small town where the dog park is forbidden, the sinister Glow Cloud runs the school board, and reality itself bends around the edges.
That's not why you should attend Welcome to Night Vale's October 10th special LIVE performance of a brand new episode or why you should stock up on Night Vale merchandise.
You should do these things because it is commanded by the murmuring voice. You know the one. The voice that comes from behind every door in your house. When you open the door, there is nothing, but when the door is closed you faintly hear, as if from a terrible distance, the instructions of that knowing voice.
"Attend the October 10th performance of Episode 9," it murmurs. "Buy extra tickets. Invite your friends."
"Stock up on merch," it hisses.
Finally, so faint it can barely be heard at all, the voice intones, "Buy raffle tickets for the limb draw at the Fall Harvest Festival. One dollar each. First prize is a refurbished artificial limb. Second prize is an actual human limb donated by a human. There are no other prizes."
I suggest you listen to the voice.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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