Macho Man Randy Savage has gone to the top of the cage with Miss Elizabeth. It's a shoot. He had a grabber and lost control of his car. Hulk Hogan rap album found in stereo skipping on "BRA-BRA-BRA-BRA-" Jake the Snake cleared of any wrongdoing. Undertaker vows to resurrect his bones to fight at Hell in the Cell in Miami Beach. Ric Flair celebrated the news with an ill-timed "WOOOOOO!" and began bleeding from a cut on his back.
Hogan's only comment: "We got him."
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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