Democrats, fearful of being accused of disrespecting a veteran, have been forced to preface every attack against Republican presidential candidate John McCain with a heartfelt compliment. Calling someone "honorable" or a "true hero" right before you try to make them sound like an idiot can be difficult. We here at Something Awful have attempted to streamline this process by providing Democrats with an easy tool to generate their jabs. The John McCain Honorable Attack Generator giveth and taketh away in the same sentence.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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