Democrats, fearful of being accused of disrespecting a veteran, have been forced to preface every attack against Republican presidential candidate John McCain with a heartfelt compliment. Calling someone "honorable" or a "true hero" right before you try to make them sound like an idiot can be difficult. We here at Something Awful have attempted to streamline this process by providing Democrats with an easy tool to generate their jabs. The John McCain Honorable Attack Generator giveth and taketh away in the same sentence.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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