Steve Jobs, founder of NeXT, the genius inventor behind the Newton MessagePad and MacTV, innovator of blueberry and tangerine desktop computer colors, has lost his fight with pancreatic cancer. Jobs, age 56, revolutionized the world of computing by creating a device that translated handwriting into typed words. This same technology would later be used in Apple products like the iPad and iPhone to replace proper nouns with random words every time you try to search or type anything.
Jobs is perhaps best known for MacinTalk, the software program which allowed millions of teenagers to discover the joy of hearing a robot mispronounce "bitch pussy fucker." Steve Jobs is survived by Steve Wozniak, the lesser Steve, and leaves behind an austere, attractive and user-friendly family that cannot ever be upgraded. His black turtleneck will be retired to the rafters at Apple.
You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
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