The gang heads back to HawkHaven and recounts their glorious battle against Monstar and his goon squad, which was the 482nd time they fought him that week. Steelheart demonstrates her callousness by bragging that all she needs is a metal file, as she broke a nail. Everybody laughs at this, because in the future everybody is stupid. Quicksilver tells them to shut up and stop yammering for a few seconds so he can explain that Monstar will probably come back and battle them again, and the chances are fairly high that this will happen within the next day or so. Bluegrass begins strumming his guitar and singing about lynching black people or whatever, and the party rages on to a happy ending for all... or is it? Take a closer look at that picture, will you?

JESUS CHRIST, Steelwill's arm is TWISTED COMPLETELY AROUND! I think this is one of those "to be continued" kind of endings, because this creeped me out like you wouldn't believe. Everybody's sitting around, enjoying a good laugh and watching the space redneck play a few tunes, and Steelwill is silently suffering because either his arm has been twisted around 180 degrees, or Monstar somehow grafted a right arm onto the left side of his body, or his thumb was completely severed during combat. Maybe Buzz-Saw actually hit something with one of his 15 billion ineffective saws. Nah, that's too unbelievable, the artist was just probably drunk.

THE END

- Lowtax

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.