Push those glasses up to your face a little farther, Poindexter. I'm about to tell you a fact that will make your pocket protector fly out of your pocket and knock your Warhammer figurines off the shelf faster than you can say "Voyager is not canon!": There are people on your precious Internet who like sports, and they have their own forum called Sports Argument Stadium. You may direct your DDoS attack toward SaxMaverick, who brings us this:
NBA News and Views April/May - Playoffs/Offseason Thread - Did your favorite NBA team shit the bed and miss the playoffs? Start talking about the offseason here, and discuss the race NEXT year for the lottery pick!
Premiership 06/07: Maybe I'm too good? - Come discuss soccer and shit here. If you happen to be one of those crazy, freedom-hating Europeans, you'll be right at home!
NHL News/Views Playoff Edition: Someone Is Going To Get Hurt - Read this thread, then next month say you fought through the month with a broken foot!
NFL Draft: I drafted this thread because of its potential. - Come find everything you need to know about the NFL draft in the week leading up to it. Forum user Kim Jong Il is our resident draft expert, and we should appreciate the sacrifices he's making, such as not bathing or going outside.
Your 2008 CURSED Madden coverboy is... - Well, its not Joey Harrington. Find out who! Then participate in the competition and put your guess as then when and how said player ruins his career.
NCAA Football Offseason Pt. 2 - Its Not the Dog Days Yet - Discuss everything college football related and see how posters wave their dicks around about how many people went to their spring game. Also, come discuss Virginia Tech without shitheads from GBS and D&D.
Mock Draft Contest 2: The Return -- Forum user Crimson Ghost (and sort of FizFashizzle) offer up cash and prizes to whoever can produce the most accurate mock draft.
BYOB is all about posting in an blue forum and being buds with everyone. It's basically the Brady Bunch except everyone is Peter Brady and greasy. Planimal shows us what's happening:
lol some girl who always checks me out at walmart sent me nude pics - "Price check on fat rolls". Well, what a great way to kick off the week. Forums poster Occupy Japan is sent nude photos by a rather obese girl who works at Wal-Mart, but the story isn't important. What is important is that we get to see her in natural splendor and it's goddamn hilarious.
HORRIBLE mexican CANDY adventure! - "This, this is not right. I could never fully describe how awful this was, it was like the opposite of candy and fun and anything good, like some kind of black hole of hopelessness and despair. I gave myself a loving spoonful and immediately knew this was a mistake as my mouth was treated to a wave of what minced spiced buttholes might taste like." - The_Ez8
make up your own dr cox rants itt (in this thread) - He's a character on "Scrubs", you nitwits, and he's known for his longwinded speeches about very tiny and inconsequential subjects.
when i grow up i want to be a psychologist at a fat kid camp - The film "Heayweights" taught me some valuable lessons about life. People can't help the way they look, be they fat, skinny, ugly, or attractive; you need to look inside that person and, in a sense, examine their soul and hahaha look at that fat kid's titties flopping around hehehehehe
Conversation I just overheard - "YOU'RE BRINGING UP THE PAST TOO... YOU'RE BRINGING UP THE PAST TOO… YOU'RE BRINGING UP THE PAST TOO... YOU'RE BRINGING UP THE PAST TOO… YOU'RE BRINGING UP THE PAST TOO... YOU'RE BRINGING UP THE PAST TOO"
"Did you fake it every time?"
"Yeah, well you're a woman."
This is a test of the emergency system. This is only a test. - man, that's a lot of emoticons.
i just found my moms myspace - Age: 45, Ethnicity: Caucasian, Orientation: Not sure.
ITT I try a cadbury cream egg for the first time in my life - lol goons are fat.
this kid is either a comedy genius or a complete fucking retard - Some guy's youtube livejournal shit, and we really can't figure out if he's really, really funny or a total douche. Note: NOT DAXFLAME
FYAD is pink and has less rules than the rest of the forums, and that's pretty much all there is to say about it that won't get me made fun of later. gobbles worked really hard putting this summary together.
pigfight - Hog wild. Since I was unable to provide update last week here's a thread from the dark ages of last week.
An open letter to Cho Seung-Hui - It is actually Cho Seung-Hui week in FYAD.
Too soon? - Still Cho Seung-Hui week.
Is anybody else having "Thursday Burger King Breakfast Bonanza" right now It's no longer Cho Seung-Hui week so you can finally get your croissant on.
April 18, 2007 is Asuka-Rei day - Click this if you like anime and/or former forums superstar Cait Sith.
"Flank the perimeter! We have bogeys heading in through the back! Go, go, go!! They're trying to get into the garage!!" The Firing Range is our gun forum, and here's a fact: It's the only forum in which a majority of the regulars believe World War 3 will both begin and end on their property. Miso Beno took a break from building a radar dish to give us this roundup.
VT Campus shooting, 20+ killed. - Renraku starts a discussion in TFR about the Virginia Tech tragedy which spirals out of control when members of other subforums decide to voice their opinion.
How much ammo do you keep? - Daunty starts an BATFE database on TFR ammunition stockpiles.
Legal Alien in Los Angeles - Dja68 intends on coming to America on a J-1 visa and wants to shoot firearms during his 2 year stay, but has no clue on what he's allowed to do and what will get him sent back to his mother country. TFR doesn't really know either.
CMP out of Garands. - Zap Branigan starts a panic by announcing that the Citizen Marksmanship program is currently out of M1 Garands until October of 2007.
I was almost in a gunfight this weekend - OptimusMax tells us his tale of bathroom stall sex and snub nosed gunplay.
MSPAINT TFR! - Sir Azrael commissions TFR for some high class electronic art.
Gun ignorance in America. - brainguy talks about .22LR BONE CHASING BULLETS.
Range Report: HK P2000 vs. USPc - Infrared35 gives us the lowdown on his department's new carry pistol, the HK P2000 and how it fares against it's counterpart, the USP Compact.
How Much Does TFR Invest in Their SHootiest Friends? - Skort does an informal poll on how much money those Terrible Foreign Rejects waste on firearms.
I'm Legit... but it feels strange. - Oneinchhard got his concealed carry permit and documents how awkward he feels carrying his one inch weapon.
Don't expect me to bust out a story about a positive gym experience. My sole purpose is to tell you which hellish gyms to stay away from. My head is a lump of dough. It is comprised of water, yeast, and flour.
Classic pick up lines for the sleazebag who tends to overthink things.
The Something Awful Forums: the last bastion of sanity on the Internet. "Forum Fridays" glances at some of the most interesting and popular threads from nearly each forum, highlighting a handful of threads each week.