This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.


SH: i think these guys in the band are 'hired guns' man

SH: SEE DUDE IT'S ANOTHER KID

DFH: That's the same keyboard, though. Dapp supplies the instruments!

SH: hahah a dude walks by to go to the bathroom in the very beginning and that's more movement than the entire rest of the video

DFH: Dapp cannot write a fucking song under 7 minutes.

DFH: "Look man I need at least four measure to get this groove across, alright? Don't question the soldier." *Dapp does half the Soulja Boy dance*

SH: SGT. FUNK REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR IM HERE TO BLAST SOME TERRORISTS WITH MY GOD-GIVEN GIFT OF GROOVITUDE

SH: i think the best thing to do when somebody is singing is to play all of the notes, at once

SH: just every single note

SH: who cares, just play 'em all, nobody wants to hear dapp anyways

SH: here's a sad thought: People work at this place. They can't go home whenever they want. They're stuck there for the whole thing


SH: as a dude who has played in a few municipal-caliber rock bands in my life and has accidentally rubbed elbows with guys like dapp quite frequently, there is one thing i know for sure, and it's that dapp is totally sure he's "gonna make it" and probably says the phrase "take it to the next level" unironically

DFH: Nailed it, from facebook: "We would like to welcome our new booking agents Samara @ Trenton Vibe Company and Lucy (hit the link) to the Dapp family... We're totally about to blow up. Hopefully not literally."

SH: Hey guys thanks for coming out, we're Dapp, come buy a shirt before you head home, they're red Hanes beefy-t's that say "FUNK U" on them in collegiate lettering

DFH: No joke, I am pretty sure Bootsy Collins owns that trademark.

DFH: Dapp will get a C&D in the mail and break down crying

SH: MY HERO

DFH: Ahaha, I just noticed there are only two youtube comments on that last video and this is one of them: "Love the super funk jam on this tune. It has always been one of my favorites but this is taking it to a new level. HOT, HOT, HOT!" is from "TJDAPP"

SH: using my powers of deduction, i've come to the conclusion that TJDAPP is, in fact... deaf

DFH: Actually, TJDAPP is, judging from one of the videos on the account ... actually the same DAPP.

SH: of course. but i mean you've heard him sing

DFH: Point taken

SH: Dapp has a ProTools rig but he drew on part of the 'P' so it says 'BroTools'

SH: hey guys wanna come over and record on the ol' brotools? maybe drink some beers? yeah i know you guys are underage, it's cool man, it's my house, there are no rules. except one rule. take your shirts off, and here's some baby oil to roll around in

DFH: It's how we get things funky, man. Just trust me.

SH: i guess that's two rules but it's cool i'll just be over here playing seinfeld music and staring at you with my cold, dead eyes

DFH: Now get in the kiddie pool.

– Daryl "Fucking" Hall and Satellite High

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About This Column

Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.

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About this series

Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!

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