Revener posted:

From my experience, most homeless people are homeless for a reason, not because life is just a horrible person to them (I can't tell you how many times homeless people have come up to me with one of maybe fifteen canned stories I've heard from every hobo ever that is obviously a lie). That said, I'd say this is a reasonably nice way of dealing with them. Maybe actually LOSING money while out begging will give them incentive to think about their choices and actually attempt to straighten their life out.

Inversely, those saying they'd just give the hobo a buck or two should rethink this. Yes, that dollar COULD go to a good hot meal, but in reality bums will find food for free from one place or another, and the money will go to buying booze, tobacco, or some other vice that probably contributed to their current state. Personally, I normally ask why they need the money, and after listening to their excuses I call their bluffs, and it winds up with the hobo awkwardly wandering off.
fatnerd posted:
Old people are gross and annoying. I wish they'd all just die. Ok, if they're just physically fucked up, but still there mentally, I guess it's ok to leave them since they can at least still communicate and have emotions. But when it gets to the point where they're just mentally gone, I say it's time to grind em up in to dog food. Same goes for retards.

edit: old people who realize they're fucked up and are going to be a huge burden on their family/society are fucking selfish for not offing themselves when they can.. when I can barely operate my arms and legs and I start forgetting my name, I'll blow my head off
nationalism posted:
Everything I need to know about Islam I learned on 9/11. Seriously though, around here there are the African-American Muslims and the Arab/African Muslims. They are different varieties and have different world views. Start with Wikipedia to get the facts, then talk to a Muslim and get his opinion. Don't get opinions before you get facts.
Sizone posted:
Just as a non-objective observation, I find that I get a lot more smiles from asian girls when my hair is long and I'm sporting a beard. When clean shaved and trimmed, it's the black girls who smile and occasionally flirt with me. Age also seems to be a factor. I get a lot more attention from the soccer-mom set when trimmed.
Beards aren't particularly itchy, except for the first week or so when they're growing out. Afterwards, they are soft and comforting. I often rationalize against any need to buy a cat by having a beard to stroke.
Bumsen weg posted:
Another time, I was walking past the Science Museum in St. Paul with a buddy, and we saw another homeless guy, only this guy had his shirt off and was covered in sweat rubbing his nipples. He saw us gawking at him and started pointing at us and yelling in some form of urban, African-American vernacular I couldn't understand. He was there hours later, after we had been kicked out of the concert we were attending, still rubbing his sweaty nipples.
More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.