NO YOU ASSHOLES SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS. That's Baron Van Awesome, who not only happens to be the COOLEST guy on the face of the planet (I just went to a blackjack tournament with him a few days ago, he's literally the person you want most to have as a friend) AND he's a daywalker. He walks in the worlds of the nerd and the cool.
He is a nerd, probably one of the biggest nerds I've ever met...but he's also the -ultimate- ladies man. I'm dead serious. he can pick up any chick he wants, no problem. He has a fucking BATMAN belt buckle. The girls -LOVE- him. He's also very good at giving advise on ladies.
We went down to Niagara Falls on Thursday night to go gamble with another friend at Casino Niagara. We were going around, went to the duty-free shop 'n shit to try to get cheap booze (Damn you Canada Customs). He was chatting up the cashiers, and we almost managed to break customs laws because of his skills...she woulda done it if her supervisor wasn't around.
Then, we went to Wendy's. The poor girl behind the counter looks like she hasn't had a break in hours. He goes up to her. "So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how are you doing today? What? Everyone has a scale, come on." He's one of those dudes that just talking to brightens your day up. I've never heard a mean thing leave his mouth. And smug? If anything, he's the Anti-goon. You know, a genuinely NICE, NORMAL, well-adjusted person!
So, you fucking bastards, find another target. There's enough people on this forms that deserve your scorn but NOT BvA. (OH and I befriended him at a LANparty, that we've now both been attending for over 6 years on 'n off.)
Well it's obvious that people are shortsighted cretins here on helldump 2000, so I'll bid a fond fair well to all of you. Since you all cannot seem to fathom why an adult may want to collect favored toys from their youth, and play with said toys with this own 4 year old son so that they could continue their fond experience with their children. While it's true that I enjoy the detail and engineering of the toys and marvel at the progress made in this light, these are by and by my sons toys, I am merely enjoying them while he enjoys them, and reminding myself of the glory of a earlier day.
Thank you all for coming and shitting on my thread today, you've been super, and keep an eye on me so you can shit on my threads some more because oh gosh my love for transformers is the whole of my being and thus I cannot be filled with any more useful or entertaining things to say. God speed Helldump, I most likely will not be returning to your hallowed pages of transformer hatred.
Everyone on the top 25 or so of that helldump posters list should be banned every time they post in helldump. Even looking at the entire list though: everyone on it fucking sucks and posts useless garbage that isn't even funny. Trying to be a helldump 'superstar' or circlejerker is about the most pathetic things on the forums as a whole, even counting the fucking comic book forum, adtrw, and even byob.
If more than 10% of your total posts are in helldump you are a tremendous faggot and should be immediately banned. Bitching about twats like YOU is what this forum was created for. All of you on that list are unfunny sacks of shit who couldn't hack it in fyad, and are too irritating even for the retards in byob. And those few of you out there who have actually spent money and gone to the trouble of creating hd2k-only parachute accounts should just kill yourselves.And agrippa you're so fucking terrible and a byob-esque spamming shitposter here in helldump I put you on ignore within a week or two of this forum being created. STFU you goddamn cocksucking piece of shit. You are not funny, ironic, interesting, or anything remotely useful. I hope you get cancer you dumb sack of shit.Edit: and as for "Aristeia", you 'lurked for years' (which is what all of the recently registered dumbfucks claim) but you've already annoyed enough people that you just got called out in a thread by JAIRBREKR of all goddamn people. Quit fucking posting here, stfu, and lurk.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.