A pleasant executive support representative from Network Solutions contacted me today... their mythical report has finally been completed! As I assumed, one of their employees had altered our DNS information from inside the company. This person is now fired. The support representative I spoke with claimed this former employee altered our DNS information "accidentally," although it doesn't require too much brainpower to see through that lie; admitting negligence and a lack of internal security opens them up to heavy duty lawsuits. I imagine 99% of the past two weeks was spent consulting with their expensive, vast legal team.
Regardless, the event has been resolved as much as it can be resolved. This article had two goals:
1. Inform you folks about the downtime and what happened two weeks ago.
2. Draw attention to Network Solutions' lack of internal security, hopefully causing them to address this situation and actually communicate with me.
Both of these have been accomplished, so I'm satisfied. I just hope Network Solutions has finally decided to institute some sort of internet network security policy preventing their own employees from maliciously accessing and altering their own clients' private information. Oops, I mean "accidentally."
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
The Hogosphere contains worthless ramblings from Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka. Crap that he's too lazy to make funny for the front page. Because he's lazy. And unfunny.