Anyway, when I was first contacted by "Ron", who wanted some hot ASL action, I had absolutely no game plan or idea on how to prank him. After going through too many ASLs and noticing his personal information leaned heavily towards the medical profession, I began to form an idea... and yes, I do hate it when people ASL me (for you non-geeks, that asks "Age / Sex / Location?"). Whenever I get ASLed, I respond by never, ever, ever answering the question correctly.
Ron - heys whats up?
Ron - hey! whats up!!!
Lowtax - Oh! Why, hello Ron!
Ron - : ) whats up? ASL?
Lowtax - I was just reading various periodicals on the Information Superhighway!
Ron - kewl, ASL?
Lowtax - Yes, ASL is the greatest, my friend!
Ron - eh?
Ron - ASL?
Lowtax - It says in your information that you're a doctor. Is that true, Ronnie?
Ron - no, I am studying to be one tho. My dads' a doctor.
Lowtax - A love doctor?
Ron - heart surgeon at Saint Marks hospital.
Lowtax - A love heart surgeon?
Ron - what?
Lowtax - Nevermind. ASL?
Ron - 17 / male / NY
Ron - ASL?
Lowtax - Yes Ron, ASL indeed. Hey, I've got a couple questions for you since you're a doctor and everything.
Ron - naw, I'm not a dfoctor, my dads a doctor, I want to be a doctor so I'm going to go too school to study to be a doctor.
Lowtax - A doctor? Doctor? Doctor?
Ron - What?
Lowtax - Did you mention something about a doctor? I don't remember, sorry.
Ron - Yeh Im going too be a doctor
Lowtax - Gotcha, a doctor.
Ron - Yeh. ASL?
Lowtax - I'm sorry, I don't have the ASL plugin for ICQ. Anyway, can I ask you a few medical questions? You know, since you're a doctor and all.
Ron - sure but I'm not a doctor, Im just studying to be one like my Dad.
Lowtax - Yeah, I got that, your dad sounds like a regular angel among men, Ron. I would guess he can probably time travel too. Anyway, I've got a medical question for you. My kid Bethany is real sick and I need some medical advice because I work for a company called G-Front and they dont pay me so I cant afford to take her to a doctor.
Ron - woah, that sucks.
Lowtax - Yeah, G-Front likes to make children die. They're a bunch of sick bastards. Anyway, my kid got sick and I think it's because I let the lady at school cut her hair. Is this possible?
Ron - ???
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.