Anyway, when I was first contacted by "Ron", who wanted some hot ASL action, I had absolutely no game plan or idea on how to prank him. After going through too many ASLs and noticing his personal information leaned heavily towards the medical profession, I began to form an idea... and yes, I do hate it when people ASL me (for you non-geeks, that asks "Age / Sex / Location?"). Whenever I get ASLed, I respond by never, ever, ever answering the question correctly.
Ron - heys whats up?
Ron - hey! whats up!!!
Lowtax - Oh! Why, hello Ron!
Ron - : ) whats up? ASL?
Lowtax - I was just reading various periodicals on the Information Superhighway!
Ron - kewl, ASL?
Lowtax - Yes, ASL is the greatest, my friend!
Ron - eh?
Ron - ASL?
Lowtax - It says in your information that you're a doctor. Is that true, Ronnie?
Ron - no, I am studying to be one tho. My dads' a doctor.
Lowtax - A love doctor?
Ron - heart surgeon at Saint Marks hospital.
Lowtax - A love heart surgeon?
Ron - what?
Lowtax - Nevermind. ASL?
Ron - 17 / male / NY
Ron - ASL?
Lowtax - Yes Ron, ASL indeed. Hey, I've got a couple questions for you since you're a doctor and everything.
Ron - naw, I'm not a dfoctor, my dads a doctor, I want to be a doctor so I'm going to go too school to study to be a doctor.
Lowtax - A doctor? Doctor? Doctor?
Ron - What?
Lowtax - Did you mention something about a doctor? I don't remember, sorry.
Ron - Yeh Im going too be a doctor
Lowtax - Gotcha, a doctor.
Ron - Yeh. ASL?
Lowtax - I'm sorry, I don't have the ASL plugin for ICQ. Anyway, can I ask you a few medical questions? You know, since you're a doctor and all.
Ron - sure but I'm not a doctor, Im just studying to be one like my Dad.
Lowtax - Yeah, I got that, your dad sounds like a regular angel among men, Ron. I would guess he can probably time travel too. Anyway, I've got a medical question for you. My kid Bethany is real sick and I need some medical advice because I work for a company called G-Front and they dont pay me so I cant afford to take her to a doctor.
Ron - woah, that sucks.
Lowtax - Yeah, G-Front likes to make children die. They're a bunch of sick bastards. Anyway, my kid got sick and I think it's because I let the lady at school cut her hair. Is this possible?
Ron - ???
The first time "fast", "decisive", and "efficient" could have been used to describe the Minecraft development team was when they snatched the $2.5 billion dollar check out of Microsoft's sweaty, shaking hand.
Paleo guru and definite non-idiot Luke K. clears the air about some of your favorite pumpkin treats this holiday season. Also he weighs in on the controversy surrounding a paleo wedding cake.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.